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50.

50 scribbles.

Day 50_Book of Hours

The halfway point.

The last few days have been my most challenging scribbles.  Writing at night is not my thing but mornings have been crazy. In the evening, I am still inspired to create art through images.  For today’s scribble, I chose to sketch a recent sunrise.  Sometimes the words just aren’t there but the picture is so clear.

I am inspired by my Book of Hours.  I have loved doing these pages for the past 20 scribbles.  I love collecting quotes that fit where I am right now and how to visually interpret them.  My scribbles naturally flow from these creations even if I am exhausted after a day of overhauling my house.

With our house and our decluttering/tidying project and our bedroom renovations,  we are at the halfway point.  We have accomplished a lot but there is still a long way to go.  The dust isn’t settled.  And it is always at this point in a project that I feel a little heavier and lose sight of the big picture.  I tend to focus on the dust that isn’t settled and the frustration of the slow pace.  I just want it done.  All the unconcealed and the gutting has left me spent.  My enthusiasm tends to wane and the inner critic who loves to pick apart my decisions does its warm-up stretches.

And the same is with my writing.  I have gutted myself open these last 50 days.  I have written what is in front of me, unsure of where this is all heading, dusting myself off every now and then. But I do have faith that it is leading SOMEWHERE.  And if I walk this path long enough, I will get where I need to go.

I never know where I am going to go with each entry.  I am simply paying attention to my life as is.  This exercise of writing the here and now, the hurried scribble, has led to the most unexpected connections and discoveries.  I am an explorer of my life, traveling across space and time.  I am more aware of who I am at this moment because of this daily practice.

I am saying YES to the messy affair of demolition and reconstruction.  I am saying YES to the restructuring and reorganization..  I am saying YES to the falling apart and putting back together again.

Thank you for jumping down the rabbit hole with me.

Here’s to the next 50 days.

***

100 scribbles…hurriedly writing the here and now.

#100scribbles

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