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54.

Day 54_Book of Hours_FULLJPG

Rhythm.

Over the last week, I have struggled with posting here in the morning with house tidying and renos, outings, and a short trip to a friend’s cottage to pick up a child.  We just haven’t been home.  And if we are home, we are trying to live amidst the mess and the chaos.  We have eaten out more.

We are without a rhythm.  I’m not referring to routine or ritual.  I am referring to an overall flow of family life.  I recently heard or read “the storm before the calm.”  (Please forgive my lack of referencing the source.  I’ve been a little scattered.)

The storm before the calm.

There is a hectic waiting.  I wait for the upstairs to be finished so I can finish my decluttering of the entire house.  I wait for a child (or two) to come home so that we can have family time and resume our normally scheduled programming.  I wait for us to have a clear space on the main floor before we cook and eat a family dinner.  I wait to finish these scribbles until late at night because there are more pressing needs – breakfast and preparing for another outing so that my husband can focus on the work that needs to be done at home.

It is all a dance.  A dance with accepting that this is the way it is – for now – and doing whatever it takes to move to the next step.  I am tempted to stop mid-stride because I can’t keep up with the tempo.  I think two steps ahead and step on people’s feet in the process.

I long for a slower pace and a more steady rhythm.  I know it will come.  But this is the part where life spins me, twirls me, and I am taking some crazy leaps across the dance floor.  We are moving in double time because this is what we need to do to get to the steady rhythm.

Today I am making a point to do this scribble this morning as my children wait for me to begin our day.  An early bedtime tonight is all I need to keep up with this rhythm of doing and moving.  Today I take things one step at a time – one deliberately choreographed move at a time.  Today I can catch my breath.

Today is where I can choose a new song to dance to.

***

100 scribbles…hurriedly writing the here and now.

#100scribbles

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