I take my husband for granted.
He is an amazing father, partner, and friend. We’ve been at this partnership in parenting for quite awhile.
But I take him for granted.
Let me explain.
I assume that he will always be there to support and love our family because he has never done anything to make me doubt it. Every decision he makes is based on how much time it will give or take away from the kids and myself. He has even created a business based on his desire to be available and to be present at home. Although he travels a little more for business, when he comes home, he takes time off to be with us.
My husband loves the simple things in life. To be happy, he needs coffee, physical activity, time with me, and time with the kids. This has been consistent for the last 17 years. And that’s all he wanted today. In fact, that’s all he wants everyday. Today for Father’s Day, we gave him that. We had our coffees together this morning and then we hauled the bikes out for our first family bike ride of summer.
When we came home, he helped #5 practice two-wheel riding on his new big boy bike. As I watched him give pointers to #5, I realized that I have seen this before. I have watched this scene countless times and not limited to teaching our other four children how to ride bikes.
I take for granted that he wants to spend his spare time with us. He jumps at the chance to teach a skill to our children. He is a natural teacher, always taking time to explain something with patience and kindness. I have never seen him not want to guide one of our children with a challenge or learning something new whether it be prepping for a job interview, perfecting a jump shot, marinating meat, or doing a one-legged pistol.
I have never seen this man waver in his devotion to us. Never. And so I am guilty of taking him for granted. His commitment to his children and to me has instilled a faith and a trust in him that I never thought I could have in another person. This doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate him or love him because I do. Actually I love him more each day as I witness the type of man he is modelling for our son to become and the type of man he shows my daughters what to expect in a partner.
You have to understand that taking him for granted, this assumption that he will always love and support us, helps me sleep at night. I knew that I didn’t have to worry about the kids when I went away on my own. He’d be there for them. In fact, this past week he even taught them their school lessons while I was in Mexico. This may sound morbid but I know that if anything happens to me, they will be loved and raised beautifully because he wants the same things for them that I want.
This I know for sure. The kids will look back on their childhood and see their father in almost every moment. The quiet and loud ones. The monumental and inconsequential ones. The happy and heart-breaking ones. They will look back and see his face cheering for them and hear his voice guiding them, gently and patiently. They will see us both there doing our best to love them and support them always.
Happy Father’s Day, babe.
100 scribbles…hurriedly writing the here and now.