It was a letting go and saying goodbye kind of day.
It was a day of seeing old handmade toys find a new home with an excited little girl.
It was a day of sharing stories from the past with strangers about items that were being let go.
It was a crying and laughing kind of day.
It was a day of light and heavy, of release and relief.
For the last few days, I have parted with things in my home. Things that had memories attached to them. I let go with gratitude.
As I said goodbye to my eldest for what will be the longest span of time away from home today at the airport, i truly felt the ocean that Solnit speaks of in the above quote.
I am dwelling simultaneously in sadness, longing, joy, gratitude, and love. It is indeed a beautiful pain – to feel so human. To receive each moment openly without trying to discard indiscriminately. To hold each moment, like I held each piece of clothing, and simply feel. Feel it all and let go each and every time giving thanks for the opportunity to do it again and again.
And just when my heart aches and I begin to grieve her absence, I get a text from her that makes me laugh out loud. It is a reminder that letting go inevitably leads to letting in what I really need at this very moment.
100 scribbles…hurriedly writing the here and now.
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