Meditate. Take 10 minutes to sit in stillness. Breathe. Let go of all holiday expectations.
Things always become clearer when I stop and think.
I reacted strongly to my children silly singing a Christmas song. I felt offended and I didn’t quite know why. My irritation was visceral. It felt like they were mocking something sacred. I had to leave the area and sit in stillness.
It quickly dawned on me that the sound of Christmas songs, not holiday songs, are strongly connected to a memory of my grandmother and my childhood.
Christmas songs grounded me as a child. The one line from O Holy Night, “Fall on your knees / Oh hear the angels voices,” resonates deeply. I can’t pinpoint an exact memory of why or when. All I know is that a lump in my throat appears and my heart twinges in longing. I long to hear her voice again. To hear her pray. To have her stand beside me in church while I hold the song missal and sing for the both of us.
It is in stillness that I listen. It is in the darkest and longest night of the year that I am able to feel warmth through the light of memory and the glint of grace found in a few words of a song.